Saturday, December 28, 2019

w o r d  o f   t h e  y e a r

I haven't done a word of the year in a few years. If I am remembering correctly, that word was balance. For that year, that really fit. It was the last year of my old MCC shop, when I also shared Clementine Home and when I had a pre-teen and teen going through all kinds of teenage emotions. I was getting a lot of calls from school and I was getting constant calls from customers. I took charge of my balance that year and took all kinds of things off my plate. I stopped volunteering, I stopped being available to everyone other than my family and I closed my MCC shop. I listened to my gut and fixed my balance.

I got pretty good at balance over the last few years. It means saying no a lot and being ok with people not liking you for it.

This year my word is happiness. I am not so good at this one. I think because it means so much to much to me and I am not sure how to not just be content but happy. And happy not in perfection. I know that making this word my word of the year that I am opening myself up for a lot of testing it. I know that this is how things work.

I am a feeler and I don't just feel my own emotions, but I walk into a room and feel everyone else's emotions as well. It can be exhausting and it can leave me not feeling very happy. I have also encountered people who like to project their unhappiness on me, I stay away from those people.

I learned pretty young to build up boundaries around myself. I think pretty healthy ones, but people tend to gravitate toward me with negativity and my walls go up. I have been told that it takes a long time for me to let people in. So if I open up to you, we are friends - then I love and trust you.

Ok back to happiness. The last few years have been heavy, and I am totally sure why...I think it was bringing me to this year.  Letting myself be happy even when things are out of my control. 

Oh and there are people that don't like happy people. I am going to definitely stay away from those people this year ( I already sort of do this ). 

And people that think that happiness is a weakness. As if people can't be kind, happy and successful. This has always baffled me.

I am sure that happiness will take practice but I am totally up for that challenge.

Here's to a happy 2020.


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