Thursday, March 26, 2015

 in the middle

First off, sorry I haven't posted in a few months. I am in the middle of something- actually I am in the middle of everything, and it is good. 

For those of you who have asked about the home reno we are doing, we are still in the middle of getting bids on various projects. Bids take longer than I thought. Spring is here though and we hope to get my house painted and fence fixed soon! Then I can focus more on the inside. I am "in the middle" of a million projects in my own home - that don't ever get done. I am the dingy that thought it would be fun 7 years ago to live in a 100 year old house, and it takes time to get things the way I want them {and budget and time constraints don't help}.

I am in the middle with my kids. I know that sounds weird. I will have them forever - but they are 10 and 12 and in less then 8 years they will be out of the house {or not :)}. It was something we considered when we refinanced this year. Camden will go to college in six years, ah! How could we be empty nesters that soon?! Day to day, juggling running a store- there are times I miss the simplicity when my kids were really little and home with me. My memory might be foggy but I think my house was much more organized and cute when I had only them to focus on. This last few years has thrown me a bit. I have learned a lot, a lot of lessons to share with my kids. I need to spend time in the middle with them. They are the most important thing to me right now.

I am also in the middle of my business. I have been doing it long enough to have a good idea of my brand, how to paint, buy, merchandise, and how to do the not so fun things like pay taxes. But I am still "in the middle" of figuring out how I even got here. I honestly think about that everyday. I have regrets, things I wish didn't happen or were different. Maybe different paths I took, or not. I don't know. I do know that I have always worked very hard. I don't take anything for granted. And being in the middle means I have figured out who I work well with. There is a calm and lightness about this MCC store. There is respect and inspiration happening within the walls of the store. To me that means so much, and I know for certain the the next half of my business will be run this way.

I am in the middle of my life. I still feel 20 but I am 39. I am still the same goofy person, I have built up some walls, I still take chances and let the walls down, I still handle things all wrong, I still cry, I still laugh, I still learn, and I still thrive.

Maybe being in the middle is were the good stuff happens. Maybe being in the middle is where we relax into ourselves. All I know is I am in it and I am finding myself.